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Table of Content
Some of the best jokes from the King of Pun and Sarcasm- One and Only Chandler Bing!
We all have our favorite F.R.I.E.N.D.S characters and undoubtedly all of them are humorous in their own ways. There are funny people and there is Chandler Bing, the epitome of sarcasm and humor. It is safe to say that whoever our favorite character might be we all love him regardless. We bring some of the most iconic dialogues ever said by Chandler Bing that will also help you in working up your defenses.
While he was preparing for an interview in the advertisement company
Cheese. Its milk you chew.
Crackers. Because your cheese needs a buddy.
A grape. Because you can not put a watermelon in your mouth.
The phone. Bringing you closer to people…who have phones.
Bagels and Donuts. Round food for every mood.
Pants. Just like shorts, but longer.
Just being typical
He thinks I slept with his ex-girlfriend and killed his fish.
Phoebe- Why would you kill his fish?
Because Phoebe after you sleep with someone… you have to kill a fish.
Lovestruck Ross and the very humorous Chandler
Ross had a ring? And he was gonna propose?
Joey- I guess
And you did it first?! This is gonna kill him! You know how much he loves to propose.
Stupidly funny
Rachel- You idiot
I’m sure you are right but why?!
Did you know not all of his lines were scripted? Matthew Perry is super funny in real life too!
I got her a machine
Joey- Her answering machine?!
No, interestingly enough her leafblower picked up.
Such a sweetheart at times though
Hey we should have a contest
Joey- See who can bring home the most beautiful woman home?
It’s a good idea Joe, we could call it “life”
Poor Chandler
Ross-No, Homo habilis was erect. Australopithecus was never fully erect.
Well, maybe he was nervous.
The master of puns
Ross- I’m trying to get Emily out of here and you keep talking to her being all interesting and making her laugh! From now on, I don’t want you to be funny anymore.
Rachel wants me to be funny, you don’t want me to be funny. From now on I will be funny sometimes, and not funny others.
And his unbeatable sperm.
What do you got here? Magazines, dorits…. Condoms?
Joey- You don’t know how long we’re gonna be in here! We may have to repopulate the earth.
And condoms are the way to do that.
The hard yet humorous truth
Couldn’t we just lose our virginities again? Because I think, actually, mine’s growing back!
Advice topped with lots of sarcasm
I’m not that great at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
When he is the sweetest guy for Monica
She was, like, 30, dark hair, attractive.
Any chance you were looking into a bright, shiny thing called a mirror?
The very famous knock-knock joke?
Funniest guy she’s ever met. I’m funny, right?
What do you know? You are a door.
You just like knock-knock jokes.
Save it for inside.
What is his secret?
Monica-Oh dear god!
Hold on there is something different.
Ross- I went to that tanning place your wife suggested.
Was the place THE SUN?
His wit with Janice
Janice- What a small world!
And yet I never run into Beyoncé!
Always on point and fire
You didn’t ‘just break up’.
Ross- Its been like three weeks
You slept with somebody three hours after you thought you broke up
I mean, bullets have left guns slower
When he was tired of Ross with the bagpipe
Monica-Unbelievable! Why is your family Scottish?
Why is your family Ross?
Those bang-on one liners
Joey-When I had insurance, I could get hit by a bus or catch on fire, you know? And now I gotta be careful?
I’m sorry man. There’s never a good time to…Stop catching fire.
Honest about skills
Hi, I am Chandler. I make jokes when I am uncomfortable.
Does not spare anyone
Ross- Whoa, whoa, whoa. Rach, we've got to settle.
Rachel- Settle what?
The Jamestown colony of Virginia.
Ross- The game, Rachel. The game. You owe us money for the game
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